Being Present is Rewarding.
Learn to Let Go
“I learned from Starlight that intentional focus on being present will create a better opportunity for positive communication and relationships.”
Racing Minds Want to Know
How to Communicate in a Fast Paced World
When I wake, I say my prayers and ask the Universe to assist me in presenting my highest and best self. Come along with my story as I introduce a new perspective that may open a new world for you.
I believe we should all strive to achieve something known as “the highest self.” This tacit knowing attests to God and the Universe and presents the most amendable and collaborative interaction with all things in their world. Imagine sitting in an indoor butterfly garden. To see a wide variety of butterflies, you almost have to become silent and more observant. You discover that the butterflies will fly around you more if you slow your movement. As you continue to scan the area, you see a tortoise out of the corner of your eye. You quickly say to yourself, that’s not a butterfly, and continue to scan the area. Me, I look at my day as an indoor butterfly garden. I attempt to become more silent, observant, and in tune with the present – including in my communication with others. That is where the art of deliberate assertiveness comes in.
In all my years with the military, I never viewed assertiveness with any level of variety. My first boss would say, “Aletha, you are very knowledgeable, but you have no tact.” I would jokingly respond, “oh, sir, I just like to Ja-Making-you-crazy!” Get it; I am Jamaican. I was in the first wave of women serving on Navy combat ships. My first duty was onboard the USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN (CVN-72) as their Communication Security (CMS) Officer. I helped one of the many jobs that could get my boss fired. So, I took my duty pretty seriously. My boss complained that I was bossy, but when I explained that protocols must withstand to pass annual inspections, I received his full support. I successfully received passing inspection grades for my two-year tour and was happy to see that I contributed to my boss’s success.
Due to some highly stressful conditions, my ability to become aware of how I presented myself became very dim. It was not until my recent introduction and interaction with horses that I finally understood the different levels of assertiveness. My lesson came from my horse friend, Starlight. Her message: to create collaboration and cohesiveness, one should learn to become more deliberate with communication.
Let me tell you the story of my equine lesson with Starlight to drive this perspective home. For two years, Starlight and I have had a very dynamic relationship. She is susceptible to energy, as am I. From my adult experience, I approached her like a human, straightforward. However, my heart presented too much power for her. I often have fear or frustration in my mind and, therefore, was not grounded enough to resonate with her.
Starlight and I have worked over the past year on relationship issues. I was trying to work through a traumatic event, and talk therapy was not working. With the horses, I discovered their incredible abilities to pick up on our vibrational energy. Horses are prey animals and can respond appropriately to environmental stressors due to their acute attunement to ecological energy and vibration shift. Out of your mess comes a message and gift. Because horses have to be so hyper-vigilant, they are gifted with the skill to pick up on your energy from many feet away and are gifted enough to mirror your energy.
On the day pictured, I was trying to be more confident in catching Starlight and putting a halter on her. She resided with four other mates and always used them as shields to avoid getting caught. None of the other horses’ act like her.
In my attempt to catch her, she would run under her mother’s neck or another horse she respects. If I approach her, she will try to kick out or run. I’ve learned from the Equine Specialist (ES) that I should come her sideways and with my back to her.
That worked until I needed to try to put the rope around her neck. This attempt to catch her went on for a few minutes. I would use the rope to tap her if she kicked or bolted toward me. The ES explained that I was not meeting her where she was and that I was too assertive sometimes. Starlight was not cooperating because I was not being deliberately powerful. The ES recommended that as I was about to put the rope around her neck, I should follow through and not back away because she was trying to refuse.
When I figured that out, I became more deliberate with my intentions. Starlight tested me for the entire hour of my lesson. When I got to ride her, she knew I was an essential rider and pushed my assertiveness. She was walking, and I was trying to go between two barrels. Well, I didn’t stir her, and she walked right up to the barrel in front of her, stopped, looked down, kicked it, and then turned her head toward me to say, “well?” Oh boy! The ES instructed me to turn from my waist, not my shoulders, and be more deliberate with where I wanted to go. So, I tried to turn her away from the fallen barrel and around the other. I became more intentional, and it worked!
What a wonderful lesson to learn from my equine friend. It knows when to be more deliberate and assertive. I learned from Starlight that intentional focus on being present will create a better opportunity for positive communication and relationships.
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